Notes from Underground

The behavior chart has returned to the office, and the Underground has thoroughly enjoyed watching people rise from the ashes and fall from grace. No Cooper, you will not be moved into the orange section.

The Battle of the Bridge saga lives on as Niagara has once again caused chaos on the ground of Canisius. Donny George, the head coach of Niagara’s women’s soccer program, blew off a postgame interview that would have aired on ESPN+ as part of the Canisius–Niagara women’s soccer game. Will Niagara ever actually stop causing chaos?

Pepaw Williams here, on my front porch just a swingin’ in memory of John Anderson. Pawpaw don’t plan on botherin’ no ladies tonite, for it’s a straight tequila nite ag’in. Pawpaw also would like to say that it ain’t necessary about how many times you can get up, it’s also about your ability to know when to duck.

Welcome back to EIC Nowel’s rant about fantasy sports. In The Griffin fantasy football, EIC Nowel is now 6–0 after beating Nobody. His rant is only because this is the only league that EIC Nowel is actually good at. Moving on, in a battle of Jase Jase May May and News, Jase May won with only scoring 77. Managing Editor Dusza is still winning with less than 80 points, beating Karen Rodger’s, whose Jack Hughes’ team in hockey is definitely doing better. CoopDawg Harbingers of C… has finally lost, Features took him down. Finally, Williams beat the Ghouls with 81 points, what’s with all the low scores.

Fantasy hockey wasn’t low scoring as Managing Editor Dusza killed EIC Nowel. She might actually have an insane team. Cale Makar took down Kratos, News beat Features (the opposite of football), Alex Lyon lost to Jack Hughes by ONE POINT (ouch) and the battle of the goalies and the 25th Cup was also a POINT difference matchup. Hockey is going to be GREAT this year, see y’all next week.

The Los Angeles Dodgers lost in four games to the Milwaukee Brewers, Andrew Nowel just wants Lily McMenemy to remember that.

Andrew Nowel can expect cosmic retaliation for his comments against the REIGNING World Series Champions.

Despite the festivities, the Ghoul feels they have been receiving more terror and haunting than spreading it.

The weekend’s Kairos retreat was an incredible success, despite the Great Color Feud of ‘72 and a not–so–narrow encounter with a skunk. Many bonds were formed, laughs were had and fruits debated. Stay vigilant, be careful not to Get Gooped.

The font Arial has been deemed the worst font by the Underground. 

EOW Javo takes out EIC Nowel with his gust of death.

Does EIC Nowel respect Nickelback’s “Silver Side Up?”