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Notes from the Underground

Midterms are coming, and as we all know the library has been packed. With that in mind, The Underground would like to ask that you please break up with your boyfriend over the phone anywhere other than the silent floor. The Underground would also like to extend our condolences to Braydon. You deserved better than her anyway, king. 

The Underground would like to offer up solutions to students still struggling with the parking situation on campus. Those living in Dugan Hall can just park their car in their spacious, suite-sized dorms that they never let you forget about. It might be kind of tricky getting it up the elevator, though. 

The Griffin is headed to La Jolla, CA, next week to attend the ACP Spring National College Media Conference with the simple goal of keeping rogue sports editor Colton Pankiewicz off of the West Coast’s “Most Wanted” list. 

Students would like to give a warm welcome to new Director of Public Safety Chief Stanton. Thanks for the combination introduction/car theft reminder email, king. Us Kia owners almost forgot our steering wheel locks!

Leap Day is not real.

The Underground is keeping RAs in their thoughts and prayers as decision letters have been sent out. After being told that the many of them were not going to be rehired, they began begging their residents on their hands and knees to write positive RA evaluations. Rest in peace to our fallen soldiers. 

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