By: Lio Salazar, Contributor
Around the first week of classes, I stumbled upon a clip of the Muppets promoting the People’s Choice Awards. Since then, I’ve been quietly quoting Miss Piggy’s “Who replaced my thick Sharpies with fine tip? I’m signing autographs, not writing the Bible on a grain of rice!!” Since then, Bella LoDico of Dance Griffs has asked me which Muppet characters would be which zodiac signs, and here we go.
Aries - Animal
Animal, the wild and exciting drummer of the band Electric Mayhem, is widely seen as a fireball of emotions that just needs to get his feelings out. It’s honestly so easy to assign Animal to Aries, a true fire sign’s fire sign. Aries have a lot of emotions that they need to get out, and some people will see those bursts of energy as intimidating, but they’re honestly such sweethearts.
Taurus - Miss Piggy
It should be no surprise that the Taurus is the high-end Miss Piggy. The legend and icon herself knows what she wants, who she is, and what her energy should go to. Miss Piggy has never been shy about voicing her opinions, telling people what she wants and that she and Kermit truly are THE power couple.
Gemini - Rowlf
The famed piano-playing dog, Rowlf, is the oldest Muppet character and perfectly encapsulates Geminid energy. He’s philosophical, sociable and incredibly relaxed. Rowlf doesn’t usually explode with emotions (like Animal and Miss Piggy), and he’s always got some quippy one-liners to break some tension. Never have I met a Gemini who doesn’t say what needs to be said, whether it’s to make me think or make me chuckle.
Cancer - Fozzie Bear
As the Muppets’ primary comedian, Fozzie Bear thrives on telling jokes to an audience and making people laugh. He’s sensitive and thoughtful, even though this makes him an easy target for Statler and Waldorf. Cancers are polite to and supportive of who they surround themselves with, and that makes them the perfect match for Fozzie.
Leo - Pepe the King Prawn
Moving back to fire, Pepe the King Prawn is easily the match of Leo — even his name has ‘king’ in it! Like a king, Leos are fiery, bold and know who they are. Pepe is one of the newer Muppets, but he’s stapled himself as a fan favorite (like a Leo would love to be). Pepe is really into showing off, wooing people he’s attracted to and sometimes being a little selfish; he’s incredibly sure of who he is. Pepe loves Pepe, and Leo loves Leo.
Virgo - Dr. Bunsen Honeydew & Beaker
Dr. Bunsen is the resident scientist for the Muppets, with Beaker as his assistant, and the duo compliments Virgoan energy perfectly. Honeydew is the representation of Virgo’s intellectual and analytical mind. Virgo’s other trait of being helpful is mirrored by Beaker always willingly helping Honeydew out with his experiments. Virgos are smart: they know how to figure issues out and are always willing to assist.
Libra - Kermit the Frog
Ah, him. Kermit the Frog is the face of the Muppets as a whole, and he’s always able to work through the chaos and wackiness of his friends and colleagues. Whether it’s dealing with Honeydew’s experiments, Gonzo’s existentialism or Miss Piggy in general, Kermit is always working through bringing everything back to Earth. Level-headed is one of the best terms to describe Kermit, and being able to balance being a Muppet and leading the Muppets is why Kermit is representative of Libra.
Scorpio - Uncle Deadly
Uncle Deadly is Miss Piggy’s trusted accomplice when it comes to fashion, and he’s also known for his dry humor when it comes to Miss Piggy’s antics. Uncle Deadly is a tailor and essentially a personal assistant, so he has a good eye for detail and is incredibly resourceful, making him the Scorpio of the Muppets. He’s pretty passionate, but he’s also really reserved when it comes to situations.
Sagittarius - Rizzo the Rat
Sagittarians are known for their wit and humor, very similar to Rizzo the Rat. They’re both extroverted and outspoken personalities, and they’re never afraid to get something started. Sarcasm also comes incredibly naturally to Sagittarians and Rizzo, and they’re uniquely able to decide what they want to include in their lives.
Capricorn - Sam the Eagle
Way more strict than Kermit, Sam the Eagle is often viewed as devoid of emotion. Sam the Eagle is not one for silliness and nonsense, making him the ideal Capricorn. Known as the disciplined one of the zodiac, Capricorns are very work-driven and at times a little off-putting, which is very much the vibes of Sam.
Aquarius - Gonzo the Great
Passionate as always, Aquarius is equitable to Gonzo. The artist, the daredevil and the dreamer of the bunch, Gonzo is always wanting more out of his life. Gonzo is the embodiment of “I’m a weirdo and I love it,” and it is a feeling all too familiar to Aquarians. They know that they’re different and “not like other girls,” but they take pride in that. This also allows them to look objectively at any situation around them to help out when they need to.
Pisces - Janice
Another member of Electric Mayhem on the zodiac chart, Janice makes it on as our Pisces. This lead guitarist is easygoing and sympathetic towards her fellow Muppets and her bandmates. This is mirrored by Pisces' desire to care for others and to create for the betterment of the world. Janice is the epitome of calm, cool and collected, much like how Pisces is one of the mutable water signs.
Muppets in Zodiac Placements