Patrick: The nose. I’m not talking about congenital arhinia, which leads to no nasal cavities. No. I’m talking full-on Voldemort: snake-like nose slits. Did you ever see The Dark Lord needing a tissue? Mucinex? I thought not. We don’t all have to look like He Who Must Not Be Named, I just think those of us who dislike our noses would be better off without them.
Out of all body parts, especially of the facial variety, noses are the most likely to be structurally crooked and cause problems related to mucus. Slits would also allow for more efficient air flow. If I didn’t have a nose, I might’ve actually been named the miler for my eight-grade track team (I’m not bitter, though). Finally, President Hurley just announced that masks, with some exceptions, won’t be required in class beginning March 28. Noses are no longer needed!
Natalie: My left ear is a menace. Hear me out, okay? (Pun intended: thanks, Kyra.) I am someone who just recently became prone to ear infections. It is always in my left ear, and it drives me crazy. On top of that, my left ear has always been “less good” at hearing, so therefore it isn’t really needed. I also feel like missing an ear is not totally noticeable. Like, I could just cover the fact that I don’t have one with my hair and then whip it out for special occasions. The only downside would be trying to wear sunglasses or headbands, but I can work with that.
April: I’m trans.
Kyra: I would not mind losing my left pinky finger. Think about it: there are so many benefits of having only 9 fingers. I would never have to come up with another fun fact about myself for awkward icebreakers, it would decrease my odds to 1/9 chances in getting a papercut, and most importantly it would take less time to paint my nails. I may be missing a finger at the end of the day, but on the other hand, I am okay. (Pun intended: great job, Kyra).
Ava: I had an extremely hard time choosing which body part I wouldn’t mind losing. I started to overthink because I kind of need all of my body parts and would be pretty inconvenienced without one of them. Ultimately, I decided I spent way too much time stressing over something so hypothetical. So simply, I would get rid of my teeth and replace them with a sick set of grills or something.
Sara: I would have to say my big toe, considering how much I accidentally bang it against corners. With only the loss of my big toe, the rest of my toes can still function properly while I don’t have to worry about my toe slamming into things.
Jay: Gallbladder. Do you even need that thing? I feel like everyone’s lives get better when that useless organ gets removed. I’d say either gallbladder or the appendix. I’m not even sure what either of those do. I’d say I’m definitely the most correct about this.
Julia: I’d be sad to lose any of my body parts, but if I had to choose one I’d say my shoulder blades. Obviously, I couldn’t actually lose my shoulder blades and still be upright, but if there was a way to remove my hunchback, I’d really love that. I’m hunched over so often that I now have a permanent hunch, and it actually sucks so much. The back pain is unreal.