Oh, Honey - Spring breaking

Hola Honeys,

We vibin'? We chillin'? We studyin? How do we doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin? What’s that? You’re exhausted from the spring semester (that has barely even been spring because of the weather), and you want to read MY column to distract you from the reality that you have exams soon, or a thesis, or maybe even that you graduate soon? I know that last one would cause some people to want my head on a pike if I even mention that word, so I will also choose to live in ignorance of the fact that my free trial of unemployment is ending soon. Isn’t that nice to think about? I mean, I have been here for 4 years now, and I realize that I don’t work unless it’s a summer internship. While I make fat bank (thank you, accounting internship MWAH), it has been dawning on me that I will be, in fact, working full-time, at least 2000 hours a year, with my weekends now being the only days I am truly free. I am totally not coming to terms with reality as I write this, nope, I am a rock that does not cry. I am going to get back on track before my eyes start sweating all over my keyboard.

Now, do you notice I didn't mention that we have ANOTHER BREAK next week? Yeah, I also forgot about that. Thankfully, one of you lovely people reminded me that I do indeed get next Thursday and Friday off with this very question that I will answer for you all now:

“So all my homegirls want to go to Miami for break next week, but they have planned this super late, and we saw that flights are kinda cheap, but also I am #brokeybroke and I don’t want to be even more broke. Should I go on this trip for the experience or should I stay home and work instead?”

Oh honey…Miami? What is this, 2016? Like, I would say yes immediately to Fort Lauderdale, Tampa, hell, I would even say yes immediately to some random place in Nebraska before I would say yes to Miami. I will give you my pros and cons of Miami right now. Pros: You can make fun of Dolphins fans because their team is a laughing stock. Cons: The clubs are lame, the weather sucks, the people there are annoying, it will make someone who is #brokeybroke become #povertyline and finally, it is Miami, Fla. Do I have an actual basis for these claims besides my hatred of the Dolphins? Strap in, honeys, I have not just a story, this is a whole tale for you all.

Back when I was a child, 16 years old, my mom and I went to Miami for our annual mother-son trip that we go on together (yes, I know, give us the award for best mother and son duo, I’ll send you my P.O. box) because we wanted to change things up. After we landed, we were subjected to all the wonders of the city, such as the blistering heat, old men catcalling my mom with her son right there, our taxi driver never showing up and a bird pooping on my head within the first hour. Okay, whatever, we were only going to be there for a weekend, so the first couple of hours being horrible were not the worst part, that's what we told ourselves. Tell me why, when we got to the hotel, there was a flood on our floor, and we literally could not even stay in the hotel we paid for? Exactly, so now my mom and I have to buy tickets back to Buffalo early so we can go home and enjoy our weekend somehow. Yeah…I did not even get to spend a weekend in Miami, that is how bad it is. So, should you take the risk? Nah, stay at home and make some money so you can be #financiallystable. What will I be doing this break? What I always do: nothing at all except watching “Invincible” on Prime, which is a great show, by the way. It would be such a shame if our opinion editor did not have good taste in media…oh wait.

Byyyyyyyyyyyye!!!!!

–DV

[If you want to submit questions for Oh Honey, you can scan the QR code provided or email vivolod@canisius.edu for questions. To be considered for the current week’s print, submit by 11:59 PM Tuesday.]