Notes from Underground

Javohir Aminov, count your days… your fantasy football team ruined the perfect season… context in the weekly recap.

As mentioned, EIC Nowel has finally lost. News defeated him, ending the perfect 7–0. Ggs News, ggs. In other news, Jase Jase May May defeated Features as Zay Flowers decided to pull a Lamar Jackson (in fantasy terms). Karen Rodger’s actually won again, beating the Ghouls with a great score of 67.7 (hehe). CoopDawg Harbingers of C… is only one win out of first place after EIC Nowel’s loss, so uh oh. Finally, NOBODY WON A WEEK! Managing Editor Dusza is really focused on hockey.

Speaking of undefeated Managing Editor Dusza, she is 5–0, please someone stop her; the goalie team PLEASE. EIC Nowel continues his dominance after a HUGE trade with Kratos to beat Kratos. Cale Makar and the 25th Stanley Cup went toe–to–toe, but the 25th Stanley Cup is on their way to that cup. Alex Lyon took down the goalie team with 138 points, ok Alex Lyon! Jack Hughes took down News with a big thank you from EIC Nowel. Welp another week, see y’all next week!

Pawpaw here, fightin’ off a terrible ‘eadache. A big blue wave came in the night ‘n’ led me to the bottom of a wine bottle. Your Pa’s never saw so many so–called “hopecore edits” on the phone b’fore. Even Kansas turned blue! ‘nfortunatley Pawpaw’s own archive has been down for a week, but sum gud w’th sum bad. Go Bills!

Eating peanut M&Ms is like eating wooden teeth.

Nobody’s brother has been unhelpful in fantasy.

There is a bat flying around on the fourth floor of Old Main. We don’t know how he got there, but we do know that he doesn’t like being up there.

“I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. See how they run like pigs from a gun, see how they fly. I’m crying,” said the Walrus.