• The Griffin

Notes from Underground 09/16/22

PHat ealy

President Stoute signs every campus-wide email AMDG, which in Latin stands for “Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam” but in Layman means “AM D(a) G(reatest).” Bold move, crowning himself. Didn’t work out so well for the original King Stephen, but we’ll see how it plays out for His Majesty Stephen of Canisius.

Speaking of campus-wide emails, The Underground’s cold heart was temporarily warmed by Stoute’s most recent. I can practically hear one of our sports teams cheering, “On three! 1! 2! 3! FACILITATE. THAT. ENDEAVOR!!!” Maybe we could even rename them the Canisius College “Operational Units.”

The Underground is currently taking bets on whether Stoute will say “intentional” or “culture of engagement” more in his inauguration address. Payout for the former is an adjunct’s salary and for the latter, Stoute’s salary — so 10 to 1. Reasoning: one word is easier to replace than three, and while “intentional” is currently his favorite word, The Underground has to account for the decent likelihood of his finding a thesaurus somewhere (though definitely not a Hurley hand-me-down) between now and Oct. 22.

The Underground will continue to take seriously its duty to straw man Stoute at the narrowest opportunity. Come at me, bro — or should I say “discern through dialogue your disappointment.”

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