Notes from the Underground 10/03/25

Maybe the carousing (or the covid brain) really got to our editor-in-chief’s fantasy football because no matter how hard she’s trying, she remains 0-4. Maybe she’s just the unluckiest person in the world, though, so no lottery tickets anytime soon!

Shingles here, reflecting on the current partial government shutdown. Shingles is also attempting to form an argument that makes it so that Shingles will not have to work. This has been largely unsuccessful, especially given that a majority of Shingles' professors are philosophers. 

The lion does not concern themselves with timeliness. Nor is the lion concerned with attendance. The lion also is not concerned with [checks syllabus] “readings.”

Shingles here, again, and is currently wondering whether they are on a watchlist for piracy, being anti-fascist or supporting gender identity. Or maybe it has to do with a secret fourth thing, empathy. Hopefully, it is due to the 8 terabytes of music that “appeared” on Shingles’ hard drive and not, you know, being a good moral person.

I have only just realized that “hot boxing” is not the same as “boxing while hot” or “hot people boxing” or “beat boxing in a hot room,” apparently it also does not mean “eating hot boxes” [unfortunately]. Hot boxing is, obviously, having hot boxing gloves and fighting with them. 

Is “partial shutdown” exclusive to the government or can I partially shutdown when faced with adversity? 

Shingles does not concern itself with parking permits. The Shingles does not concern itself with “tickets.” Pedestrians nor speed bumps are a concern for Shingles

IF YOUR DINING HALL STATION DOESN'T HAVE TOFU THEN DON’T LIST TOFU ON THE DAMN BOARD.