Notes from the Underground

Is Campus Safety actually goofy? The Underground heard some really funny things on Monday morning and needs to research the topic more thoroughly. Stay tuned…

What is really going on the third floor in Old Main? The faculty have advocated for normal classrooms, but the Underground thinks that the asking of the faculty was just a formality as the new classrooms seem to be the modernized classrooms like the ones on the first floor of Old Main. We do love our facilities team.

The NFC South is dumb. Don’t want to talk about the 0–4. No no NOOOOOOO!

Peepaw Williams here; after watching Resident Evil, Peepaw has decided to: never drive a motorhome in a tunnel, take lock picking lessons and drive a four–wheel drive truck with a cow pusher on the front. Also, Peepaw has decided that if I hit a creepy woman with my car, she can ride in the back. Peepaw would also like to apologize to all Bills fans. This past Sunday, Paw went to the game. This will never happen again. Go Bills.

Our lovely Sports Editor Jase May really likes lemonade. Just don’t ask him about it.

What are we doing? What’s going on?

Fortunately the Underground did NOT contract pink eye. Stay safe y’all.

Thanks to The Griffin’s New First Favorite Duo, the new department entitled Staff Bullying Surveillance Committee has been created.

The Ghoul of the Griffin is very vocally opposing the Staff Bullying Surveillance Committee, as it is “their right” to harass and/or maim E.I.C. Andrew Nowel. 

In the absence of EIC Nowel and Managing Editor Dusza, The Ghoul was placed in charge of the Griffin office.  What resulted was a pure dictatorship, resulting in one public stoning, one death, one resurrection, and one new religion (all of which directly involved Jase May)

GRIFFIN OFFICE GOT GHOULED MWAAHAHAHAHSSGAGAGahGHAHHAAHAHAHAAA 

(un)WELCOME TO GHOULLAND