Notes From The Underground

The Underground has a personal vendetta against Niagara, not only because Purple Eagles aren’t real and well, it’s Canisius’ rivals, but because the club baseball team lost to them due to the umpires. Totally not because they only scored eight runs while Niagara scored 11. The Underground thought the rules stated it was golf scoring… lowest scoring wins.

Fantasy football week one update: EIC Nowel takes down Managing Editor Dusza, Josh Allen took down the Texans and Karen Rodger’s, Features defeated News by a lot, Jase Jase May May won won against Jahmyr Gibbs and the Gorgeous Ghouls beat Nobody. RIP to the all Bills team from last year, Pepaw Williams will be remembered.

Pepaw Williams here, just settling into my rocking chair now, currently preparing for the night Bills game. It’s going to take several coffees to survive it. Paw paw ain’t, is not, as young as paw paw once was.

Now that Pepaw Williams is gone, the office has lost the #1 Bills fan on the planet, with an attempt by the ghoul to take over the role that has failed. EIC Nowel can now infiltrate the office with his Indianapolis Colts fandom and soon everyone will be brainwashed into rooting for Indiana Jones.

What happened to arthritis?

A mouse was spotted in club row on Thursday night. Rumors have it that the rodent originated from the USA office and is slowly making its way to The Griffin office where it will devour the pizza that was brought in for print night. Guard your pizza boxes everyone!

Bowls are the new plates. Enough said.

Canisius University Little Theatre has still yet to put up their club row bulletin board.  How will we ever know what their e-board looks like?

The Buffalo Bills will play their next home game on Sep. 27, 2026, so get your driving out of the way now.

Celsius is a good energy drink because chest pain will wake you up really quickly.