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  • The Griffin

Notes from The Underground 11/04/22

By Pay Heavy, Cheerios-in-Chief

The Underground simply does not understand slang. We have one global event similar to the Black Death, and all of a sudden people are bringing back the word “slay” like we’re medieval dragon-killing knights. It makes The Underground want to slay the originator of this dastardly diction.

With his fly shoes, President Stoute clearly wants to be the fashionista president. But he’s conservative above the ankle. The Underground dares our Beloved Leader to bring back suspenders and bowler hats. It has secured a pledge from a certain Griffin editor that they would not question the president during a public appearance of the president’s choosing were either of these to be donned.

Speaking of fashion, The Underground would like to note that the star of President Stoute’s inauguration was Dr. Fields’s fashion. One student said that while most people wore regalia, Dr. Fields’s regalia wore him. The Underground concurs. Stay dapper, Dr. Fields.

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