Notes from the Underground 04/25/2025

Shingles here, sorry I was not around last edition, I was too busy watching my car and keeping it in a well lit area.

The Underground thanks President Stoute for the ice cream truck on Thursday, but we see right through this Pavlovian ploy, Steve. Buying us all ice cream in the world won’t make us forget about the fall semester.

Shingles here again, and in the time that it took to write my last note…my car was stolen

Bucas here, unhappy to report that The Underground is now facing an extraordinary heat. Hey, why does it smell like brimstone down here? Even someone from the SELD office had to bring down a fan to help with the heat.

It's that time of the year again, Big Sunscreen is gonna tell you to use its product to protect you from the “sun.” But us here in The Underground know the sun isn’t real, as we have yet to see it. Underground reporter Shingles also says that “birds” aren’t real for the same reason.

Bucas, once again, the clickety clack sound in the tunnels you hear definitely is not a typewriter, it’s the clickety clack of the MetroRail line! It totally is. Trust.

The Underground is very confused as to why many Griffin staff members have been running around crying “The British are coming!” (the British are WHAT?!?) full on Paul-Revere style.

The Underground is proud to claim responsibility for the recent car break-ins. 

The Dippy and Dipshit Trio™ have disbanded.