Note from Underground

Katie Dusza has gone missing. Her status on the behavior chart is nowhere to be found because we can’t find her photo. However, Peter Neville and Kaitlyn Belile have been found!

Paige Apps is a legend for what she did last week. The Underground is very grateful for her contributions in The Griffin in multiple ways.

For context, we’ll start with fantasy hockey this week. MANAGING EDITOR DUSZA HAS LOST!!! The goalie team, aka Paige’s team, defeated the undefeated last week while EIC Nowe destroyed Cale Makar on the final two days. Features earned their first hockey win of 2026, leaving Kratos to still be wondering what hockey is. Alex Lyon is becoming a problem after defeating News by nearly 60, but at least Jack Hughes showed Canada who’s boss once again, so all is right in the world.

EIC Nowel bounced back with a HUGE win over CoopDawg’s Harbingers of C… The league runs through EIC Nowel. Managing Editor Dusza took another loss in football, a tough week for her, as News is secretly making a run for the title. Karen Rodger’s is trying to make a late season push even with Lamar Jackson ghosting them. Features is step by step with News at 6–3 as Nobody is back to losing while Jase Jase May May defeated the Ghouls, who hadn’t checked their team and was logged out of the ESPN app when looking Monday. An excellent week, don’t you think?

Pawpaw here, still recoverin’ from the 29 fer 29. Appar’ntly folks, w’re dr’nkin’ beer… y’ur Paw was drank’n ‘verclear. Paw’s hav’n a rough time r’now. In ‘ther news, Pawpaw is steel wa’tin’ on “The Archive” to ret’rn. Pawpaw is also v’ry glad that the Bills play on S’nday, needed to nap b’fore it st’rted. Bo Gills.

If you ever are bored on a Wednesday at 12 p.m., just head over to the United Students Association (USA) office for Senator Todd DeMarco and Senator Evan Cipriani’s office hours. It will lift your day!

The Ghoul has contracted The Gunk, also known as consumption. Eternal torment awaits.

Helena has been Thanos–snapped.

Warning… The Griffin is coming.

The Ghoul is thrilled for the upcoming weekend of Monking in The Hermitage.