Mission 100 Days: Making it Count

By: Kaitlin O'Meara, Copy Editor

It has been shockingly difficult to reflect in what feels like a meaningful way on the past 1,292 days – aka the time I’ve been a student here at Canisius. I’ve tried so many times, in even more ways, rereading past “100 Days” reflections and feeling like I don’t have anything to say that hasn’t been said. I, too, came to Canisius hesitant, like many others, and I will also leave feeling really grateful for making this decision. 

I applied to Canisius out of a weird sense of guilt my senior year of high school – I couldn’t justify applying to my mom’s alma mater (UB) and not my dad’s (here) – and I felt extreme apprehension when I stepped on campus and nearly the first thing I saw was a church (my first note on the vibe I found at Canisius was “very churchy”). Regardless, I stuck it through and ended up committing here when it was clear that my top choice wasn’t going to be a feasible option. My main deciding factor wasn’t based on any sort of sound logic: it was because I had put a post out in multiple different “prospective student” Facebook groups, and I only got messages from other prospective Canisius students. I liked it enough academically and the people seemed nice, so I figured, “why not give it a shot?” and I put down my deposit.

My first few weeks (months, if we’re really being honest with ourselves, because what is a reflection if not a time for honesty) of college were lackluster at best. As a naturally shy and very introverted person, I had decided that things would be different and it would all go away when I got to college so I could make friends quickly. That didn’t happen. I spent the first few weeks of school nearly always alone, going back and forth from my dorm room, to my classes, to the dining hall and sometimes, if I was feeling spontaneous, the library. After about three weeks and a weekend-long anxiety attack, I realized something had to change. I had spent too much time putting in minimal effort and feeling upset that nothing was changing, so I decided to go out for sorority recruitment.

I have tried to write this without mentioning Phi Sig, but it has played such a major role in my college career that any time I do so, it feels incomplete. Phi Sig gave me people, and from those connections and the confidence I felt by finally having a good group of people in my corner, I began to branch out and try new things. Whether it was changing my major like a million times (10), joining nearly every club I could find or starting to work as a writing center tutor, I began to figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. 

This is not to say that the changes were instantaneous or that there weren’t ups and downs along the road – there were so many. My first semester, I still kept mostly to myself because I was afraid that if I spent too much time with people, they’d realize that they didn’t like me all that much and I would go back to being lonely. But the further along I got into my college career, I realized that I had good people around me, and I could rely on them to help me out when I needed it, which helped me keep going even when it got hard to do so.

One of the ways I really found my people and my place was through writing for and eventually joining the staff of The Griffin. I always had friends on staff and I spent the occasional Thursday night in the office bothering Maddy Lockwood, trying to learn more about how it all worked. For a really long time, I felt that I had no business trying to write for the paper, so I didn’t. Eventually, Maddy asked me to write something, so I gave it a shot. Did she have to rewrite almost the entire article? Yes. But doing it once gave me the confidence to try again and learn from the mistakes I made the first time around, and for that I am so grateful. 

The first article I was really proud of was my reflection on my trip to Cuba, because it was something where I was able to share something important to me and enjoy doing so. I don’t think it’s my best article ever, but it’s one that I remain proud of to this day for the work I put into it and the feeling of seeing it in print. In mentioning Cuba and this trip, I want to take a moment to say thank you to Richard Reitsma, because in The Griffin sense, some of my best articles and things I am most passionate about come from what I learned in his classes – whether through Cuba and my thesis or the class on immigration and the trip to the border – but in the grander scheme of things, my perspective and future is forever changed because of what I learned with him.

Though I love writing and copy editing, those are not the things that keep me coming back to The Griffin office, it is the lovely and incredible people of the staff that make me want to stay and keep doing what we all love doing. Whether Maddy Lockwood and Kyra Laurie, who first introduced me to the paper and got me intrigued, or Colin Richey, Peter Neville, Kaitlyn Belile and Katie Dusza, who keep me coming back week after week. Or Hannah Wiley, because there is no Kaitlin O’Meara at Canisius without Hannah Wiley, and there is no one I would rather have spent nearly every waking moment in the past couple of years with. From Phi Sig, to C-Block, to The Griffin and everywhere in between, I am so grateful to be one half of The Griffin’s favorite duo with you.

As I look to the last 64 days of my time here at Canisius, I hope to spend it well with the people that have made this place the one I know and love so much. It seems so cliché, and was something I really doubted on my tours here at first, but it truly is the people of Canisius that make it so special, and the opportunities that they give you – whether friendship, mentorship or anything else – and are what make this place so difficult to say goodbye to.