DWTS: Dancing with (the) Sophie

By: Sophie Asher, Multimedia Director

I can’t count how many times I’ve been told, “You need to write for The Griffin,” so I figured, why not yap about the topic I’m the MOST opinionated about— “Dancing With The Stars!” 

You could say I’m somewhat of a DWTS newbie, as my roommate introduced me to the series just last year. Though after only a few episodes, I was hooked. I dove deep into the show’s lore and history, making me parasocial enough (come back Joey Grazadei, I miss you) to confidently rank the Season 34 pairings.

Let’s dive in and rank every couple, worst to best, complete with all my (strong) opinions, mostly based on skill, with a touch of personal bias thrown in.

#14 - Andy Richter & Emma Slater: I feel really bad doing this, as they are both SUCH sweetie pies, but Andy’s age and limited mobility hinders him from becoming a better dancer. Emma is an amazing teacher, known for her talent in training older contestants, and she seems like such a light to be around. There’s just a lack of movement in their routines. I did think the intro to their “It’s Raining Men” week two dance was entertaining. 

#13- Corey Feldman & Jenna Johnson: As a bit of a spoiler, this couple did get sent home this week—which was definitely the right call. I’m a huge fan of Jenna Johnson; she’s an absolute powerhouse and has been SERVING LOOKS these past two weeks. As last season's mirrorball champion, it’s clear she’s a talented choreographer, but there’s only so much you can do with a partner like Corey. Corey’s lack of grit and determination came through as he complained of the rigorous training hours and took time off during week one to attend a media conference. This lack of commitment was reflected in both dance routines, ultimately leading to his elimination (also, I do NOT feel bad for him; look up Corey’s Angels).

#12 - Baron Davis & Britt Stewart: This duo consisted of such an unproblematic king and queen, but Baron’s lack of prior dance experience got the best of him, sending them home this week in the double elimination. He really seemed to try his best, but the elimination was justified.Fun fact: Did you know Britt Stewart married her former Season 31 partner Daniel Durant, a deaf stage and screen actor? How sweet is that?

#11 - Hilaria Baldwin & Gleb Savchenko: Alright, this is where the personal bias kicks in. From an objective standpoint, Hilaria is a skilled dancer with prior ballroom training, which is evident in her routines with Gleb. However, this pairing brings together the two most problematic contestants in the ballroom, making their performances difficult to watch. From Gleb’s romantic drama last season to Hilaria pretending to be Spanish, the two are like a train wreck—impossible to look away from.

#10 - Dylan Efron & Daniella Karagach: At this point in the rankings, it gets a little hazy for me, but I believe Daniella and Dylan are a good fit here. Dylan fell way short of my expectations I had for him. I admit, he low-key ate with the “whisking” Tuesday night, but his performances lack substance. However, I think they could easily turn around, with Daniella being one of the most talented choreographers on the show. 

#9 - Danielle Fishel & Pasha Pashkov: This couple did a pretty good job, but they have not stood out to me in a significant way. I truly feel for Danielle, as she suffered a hamstring tear before her week two dance. However, I think she did a great job pushing through the pain. As for Pasha, he is one of the pros I don’t have much knowledge on—I need to study up.

#8 - Scott Hoying & Rylee Arnold: This duo is not performing to the level I thought they would, especially given Rylee’s reputation. Following in the footsteps of her older sister Lindsay and building on the success of gymnast Stephen Nedoroscik from the previous season, Rylee gained popularity among fans. However, many believe her choreography doesn’t measure up to that of her more experienced competitors. With Scott being 6’3” and suffering from scoliosis, ballroom dance is not the easiest for him, as he has been criticized for being “too stiff.”  However, by no means did I find either of their performances “bad.”

#7 - Elaine Hendrix & Alan Bersten: This pairing has been fun! I am blown away by Elaine’s talent level, given she is 54 years old. She moves quickly and has completed two great routines so far. Alan is also one of my favorite pros, as I enjoyed watching him and Ilona Maher win second place last year. I’m excited to see these two progress. 

#6 - Jen Affleck & Jan Ravnik: I think these two have performed decently well! I enjoyed watching both routines, even though they got a bit carried away with lifts during week one. Being newly postpartum, Jen has exceeded my expectations. I personally find Jan to be a bit of a wild card, given it’s his first season on the team. With his dancing at The Eras Tour, I know he has to be legit. I’m just unsure if they have the fanbase to carry them—was “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” that popular?

#5 - Lauren Jauregui & Brandon Armstrong: I’m pretty impressed with these two, especially since Lauren was a late addition to the competition, having one week less than her competitors to prepare for week one. I have no real complaints about her. Brandon is my favorite pro! He is super funny if you’ve ever watched his TikToks with his wife, Brylee, or watched a podcast with him in it. 

#4- Jordan Chiles & Ezra Sosa: These two are so fun together! Their week one dance was not a fan favorite—as many said it was too “TikTokified” (I personally enjoyed it), but Ezra took that criticism seriously and came back with VENGEANCE! Their jive to “Maniac” was my favorite dance of the night. I also believe they will go far with the popularity vote, as Ezra has a great social media presence. 

#3- Alix Earle & Val Chmerkoviskiy: I have this pair ranked at #3 because they've delivered two SOLID routines over the past two weeks without any noticeable mistakes. I personally enjoy Alix Earle and her content. She's a driven and successful businesswoman with the determination to go far (side note: that girl knows how to strut in heels!). Val is a fan-favorite pro with extensive knowledge in choreography. I have faith in them.

#2 - Whitney Leavitt & Mark Ballas: These two are just a force to be reckoned with, a perfect storm if you will. Whitney has killed it on the dance floor given her prior dance experience, and being paired with Mark Ballas really accentuates her talent. If you’ve watched the show for a while, you know Mark is a top five pro with exceptional skills and plenty of mirrorball trophies. 

#1 - Robert Irwin & Witney Carson: I mean, COME ON, that opening dance was phenomenal! I personally think they were overscored on week two, but they still received so much positive feedback. These two are just so likable! Robert comes from the most beloved family in the media and Witney Carson is—for lack of a better term—just that girl. I really want to see these two go to the end and secure Witney her first mirrorball since season 19 with Alfonso Ribeiro. 

If you’re still here by now, congratulations! You’ve reached the end of my rankings! Thanks for letting me get all opinionated on you for a minute. Also, if you haven’t, go watch “Dancing With The Stars!” Maybe you’ll become as obsessive and nosy as I am!