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  • The Griffin

Notes from Underground 3/3/23

The Underground was wrong all along. It wasn’t Dr. Mark Harrington causing every single problem on campus with his annoyingly infectious smile, but instead it was Hall Director Gabby! The Underground seems to find her happy face all around campus these days. People who smile all the time must be faking it, and people who are seen everywhere are inherently suspicious. The Underground will keep its eyes on her.

The Underground spied the phrase “Canisius College: Where losers are made” on a sweatshirt worn by a certain future Ohio State student. While it won’t reveal this person’s identity, The Underground will use the person’s initials to ask, For Real, bro?

The Underground thinks Canisius should have two separate websites: a .ca and .eu domain where we call ourselves Canisius University (marketing to international students), and a .edu one where we are Canisius College (marketing to Americans). Or we could just close.

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