Notes from Underground 09/30/22

By Patrick Healy

It seems to The Underground like every event is worth 75+ Petey Points. And, in a month, students will receive a bonus of 20 points for every club they joined on GriffNet at the start of the year (kind of like how American families received an extra stimmy for every Timmy). The Underground can’t believe socialist policies have infected the Great College of Canisius. Petey Points really out here looking like Venezueluan currency. #Jasonflation

Speaking of Petey Points, why can’t we use them to pay parking tickets? The Underground knows for a fact some students have received tickets on their way to events in which they earned Petey Points. Seems only fair…

Okay, but seriously, what a Griff gotta do to get some parking? The Underground suggests that we just flatten Montante, by far the ugliest building on campus, to create more parking spots.

The Underground cordially thanks Dr. Harrington for reforming his Instagram account. The Underground will continue to monitor the situation like the Griff Center monitors students’ GPAs.