Shingles has returned to the Underground and would like to thank and curse the clouds during the eclipse. My eyes thank you, but I curse you because my original plan was to pull a Donald Trump and stare directly into the sun. Alas, the Buffalo weather thwarted that plan. I suppose I’ll have to wait till the next eclipse to attempt to have a staring contest with the sun.
The Underground also appreciates being encouraged to donate to a school they currently attend. Like, yes, please take my money for tuition, boarding and food… then ask for more! It’s not like I needed it anyway.
This paragraph is dedicated to the passing of O.J. Simpson. The Juice expired on April 10, 2024.
The Griffin’s senate reporters are incredibly hurt and disgusted over USA’s decision not to include them on the invite list of their end-of-year banquet, despite the fact that the reporters show up to more of their meetings than the senators do…
The entire Griffin staff is appalled at the lack of invitations received for this year’s Leadership Banquet. The Griffin single-handedly holds this campus’s democracy together, but, sure, hand out an award for being “the best sophomore.”
The Underground would like an explanation as to why Griff Fest is only 5 hours this year. Griff Fest happens to be the only thing that kept students going through the 100 week long spring semester, and don’t they know it's the only time that students get to converse with President Stoute five drinks deep?
This is the Underground’s friendly reminder for all those with windows facing the Quad that you need to close your blinds! We understand that the weather is nice, but the entire campus doesn’t need a full view…sorry.