• The Griffin

Notes from the Underground 02/04/22

By: Not Patrick Healy

Why does the Success Center insist on using that same image of “Biff Tannen” as an example of the student profile? Most students these days don’t know it’s a character from Back to the Future. We understand they can’t use a real student, but if they wanted a name we had heard of but never seen they could have just used John Hurley.

Yes, there will be a quiz on the core curriculum once the series is done. Winners are exempted from the “Reading The Griffin” attribute.

In a fit of rage, a student apparently smacked a TV after they lost a video game match at Saturday’s Gaming After Dark event. The game they were playing? The popular Nintendo game, Super Smash Brothers. The Underground doesn’t even need to provide a “punchline” for that one.

COVID and cold weather have precluded “Movies in the Quad.” To save money and for an equally comedic viewing experience, USA could just provide popcorn and blankets at their own meetings.

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