• Patrick Healy

Notes from the Underground 10/29/21

By Patrick Healy, Opinion Editor


The Underground petitions to make Elaine from Student Life the patron saint of Canisius students.


Auditory events better than Phil Collins music: hearing a teacher announce a pop quiz, nails on a chalkboard and fire alarms. Visual sights more pleasing than Mark Rothko paintings: an F on an essay, cigarette butts and mud. The Underground’s version of hell is listening to “In the Air Tonight” while staring at “Orange, Red, Yellow.”


The Underground doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s harder to make a left turn than a right turn in America. Just look at the U.S. Senate.


The stages of life according to The Underground: When you’re young, you play with Play-doh. When you’re an adult, you study Plato. When you’re old, you’re just plain slow.


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